


Won't let them break me down to dust

by flightinflame



Series: Marble and Mirrors [3]
Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Regency, Alternate Universe - Still Have Powers, Angst, First Meetings, Human Experimentation, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mutant Powers, Nerd Charles Xavier, Shaw Being a Manipulative Bastard, Young Charles and Erik
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:41:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26874619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flightinflame/pseuds/flightinflame
Summary: Charles is intrigued at his stepfather's offer to accompany him to his natural philosophy society. He hopes for experiments around phlogiston, or a lecture on foreign lands. What he finds instead is a demonstration of magnetism, with the aid of a boy gifted like himself.
Relationships: Erik Lehnsherr & Charles Xavier, Erik Lehnsherr & Sebastian Shaw, Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier, Kurt Marko & Charles Xavier, Raven | Mystique & Charles Xavier
Series: Marble and Mirrors [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1916608
Comments: 11
Kudos: 37





	Won't let them break me down to dust

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thanks to Midrashic for betaing this, and encouraging me along the way. Title from "This is Me" from Greatest Showman, which is probably my favourite song.

Charles cursed himself looking back, for not realising the cruelty behind Kurt's offer, the first time his stepfather smiled at him and asked him about his studies. He had just got back from his first term away at school, his mind full of books and excitement, and being plunged back into the coldness of the family home was a challenge for him. He supposed that was why he'd been foolish enough to take the offer at face value. It wasn't a mistake he'd ever let himself make again.

It was the first day back, after a long coach trip. He was sat in his room, surrounded by the detritus of paper that he had brought back with him, flicking through the pages idly as he pondered some of the essays he had to do before term started up again. He had felt very grown up at that moment, almost fourteen, and excelling in class.

There'd been a quick knock on his door, and Raven stuck her head around, skipping in playfully. She had grown a little taller in the time he had been away, and her hair was slightly darker, although now they were alone she allowed that fake appearance to slough from her, like a snake shedding old skin. He grinned at her in her blue form, and she smiled back, her teeth seeming almost to shine against the rest of her face.

"I missed you," he told her, and after a moment she nodded, walking forwards and embracing him, and he hugged her back.

"I missed you too. You wrote?"

"I wrote," Charles agreed. "Didn't you get the letters?"

Raven shook her head, and he understood at that moment - she'd upset his mother, and in response she'd destroyed the letters.

"That's okay. I'm here now."

"I'm sorry..." Raven whispered, and he cuddled her tightly. 

"I'll find a way to get letters to you, I promise."

She beamed, and then paled slightly at footsteps in the corridor outside. She settled into her human form, settling on the bed with a book.

"Raven, your eyes-" Charles hissed, and they turned back to normal just as the door opened, and his stepfather strode inside.

"Charles, my boy..." Kurt strode over, clasping one strong hand on Charles's shoulder, and Charles responded with a slightly pained smile.

"Yes?"

"I hear you've been doing well in school? Remarkably well, in fact. There's talk you might make head boy in a few years."

"I hope so, sir." Charles replied, careful not to say something that would sound unnecessarily rude, but surprised by his stepfather's sudden joviality. He wondered what could have changed in the time that he had been away.

"I read your school report," Kurt told him. "You're excelling in science."

"I try, sir."

"Well, Cain had an idea, and I spoke to your mother..." That had alarm bells ringing in Charles's mind - he couldn't believe any suggestion of Cain's would work out in his favour. 

"Yes, sir?"

"Well, I was going to suggest to Cain that he join me tonight for a meeting of our natural philosophy society. But he seemed of the opinion that you might prefer to go?"

Charles looked up at him excitedly, scarce able to believe the offer - he had read all about Priestley's experiments with phlogiston, and knew that the man had visited his step-father's society more than once. There had been demonstrations of sparks, of vacuums and the like. He would often spend the day after one of his step-father's meetings combing the man's mind for information, and regretting how ignorant and uncaring he was about the topics discussed - Kurt attended not out of any interest, but because it was expected of a gentleman of his standing, and to not attend would be a sign of weakness. "Are you sure?"

"I am quite sure," Kurt offered. Charles allowed himself to listen to Kurt's thoughts there, looking for any sign of a trick. There was none - this evening Kurt planned to dine with some of his friends who shared his interest in the workings of the natural world. The invitation was genuine - he had been persuaded to bring a son, and thought that Charles would be less likely to cause him embarrassment than Cain would. 

"Then I should love to go." Charles answered honestly. 

"We leave at six." Kurt informed him, sweeping away, never even acknowledging Raven's presence. Alone with his sister once more, Charles beamed and embraced her, full of a sense of his own importance. His stepfather was finally taking him seriously. He would make connections and be able to ensure his own future was assured, through his own skill as well as the family name.

Come six o'clock, he was in the carriage, smiling broadly in his excitement. "Do you know what the topic is for tonight's lecture, sir?"

"Oh, I can't remember." Kurt muttered with a hint of irritation, and Charles fell quiet again. He spent the journey deep in consideration of what it might be that was shown to them, picturing the kinds of experiments he had read of, but not seen. He wondered if any of the learned men he would meet would know about people like himself and Raven, know what they were and how to understand them. He wished to gain more understanding of what he was.

That last wish came true, although not in any way he could have wanted.

The house that the society met in was rather grand, if nothing in comparison to his own home. He smiled politely at the servants, following his stepfather closely, trying to be polite - it was not done to speak out of turn at these things, and most of the others here were his stepfather's age, if not older. The host's daughter was his own age, but it would have been improper to speak to her without an invitation. 

Eventually, one of the men addressed him about school, and he answered eagerly. It turned out the man, a Mister Essex, had attended the school years ago, and was interested in becoming involved in it again.

They settled down for dinner, and Charles had felt proud of himself, surrounded by learned men and being able to ask a few questions. The ladies of the house were excused after the meal - they would go and do whatever it was that women did when not chaperoned.

The host's daughter smiled at him as she passed, and he smiled back. There was an intelligence glittering in her eyes that intrigued him, and a way she had of looking that made him feel as though every secret he held was laid bare. He pushed those thoughts aside, following the men through to what was usually the billiard room, but had tonight been set up for the experiment.

His stepfather was speaking to the host, and Charles approached, hoping to find out what they were going to discuss tonight.

"Ah, here we are. Charles, my boy, this is Lord Frost. He was just telling me that his daughter has been expressing an interest in the natural sciences. What do you think?"

This time, Charles could tell the trap - to insult the host's daughter would be unthinkable, to reject the implications of his stepfather would anger him. He smiled politely, taking a moment to scan both minds for hints of the correct answer. "I think that a young lady should have a well rounded education. I was reading some poetry the other week, and would be happy to correspond with her about that or any other topic, if you should like."

"Perhaps," Lord Frost agreed. "It certainly could do no harm." He stepped aside, and Charles made his way to a seat at the front of the small number of chairs that were waiting. Around him, discussion carried on, Charles almost buzzing with excitement, until Mister Essex cleared his throat. 

"It is with great pleasure that we welcome you to our latest meeting, and thank Lord Frost for the generous loan of this space. Tonight, we have a scientist who has not spoken to us before. A Prussian researcher, who is an expert on natural variation, and its expression within gifted individuals."

Charles beamed. He'd learned a little about the 'gifted' - people like Raven, who looked different from the rest in a vast variety of ways. He'd heard some of those gifted even had mental abilities resembling his own. He'd spent evenings in the library reading all his school had to offer about it, had spoken to his teachers, and already dreamed of pursuing his studies in this area. He knew he wouldn't be permitted, with research being unsuitable for a Lord, but he could dream about it. 

The man who stepped forwards swept his gaze over the crowd, and something about him put his teeth on edge. There was something in the man's appearance that unsettled Charles, almost as though dark thoughts were swirling out from him. He tried to put those thoughts aside, and concentrate on ensuring a good first impression.

"Hello, and thank you for inviting me," the man spoke softly, a cold smile on his lips. "I am glad to see so many people here tonight to appreciate my research. My interest is on those that have been called 'the gifted', those that are mutants. They are mutated - this means that they have changed in form or nature. They are to humans what a butterfly is to a caterpillar. Remarkable, unique, fragile." 

Charles could hear Kurt muttering behind him, and a couple of the older members were already nodding off. One man had pulled out a pocketbook. Charles alone sat with rapt attention, watching the man standing there, focusing just on him. 

It was that focus that meant he missed the other newcomer's mind. He was enthralled as the scientist spoke of experiments carried out on mutants, on the way that abilities passed down the family line, with abnormalities either replicated or echoed in later generations.

"Now, what I have spoken of so far is what is commonly understood by the way of these mutants. Human in spirit, in thought, but with bodies unlike ours, twisted by their difference. These, you can witness in any sideshow. But there are others. Those whose gifts are not visible at first, who hide among us..." The man's smile broadened as his eyes seemed to grow colder. "And I have one such individual here tonight. A young man who I rescued..." He strode to a concealed door, revealing the servant's corridor.

In the darkness, there waited a pale youth, perhaps a year or two older than Charles was. He flinched a little at the sudden brightness.

"Erik," the man started, then addressed him quickly in Prussian. The boy stumbled forwards, and Charles was able to get a clearer look at him. 

He looked tired. His hair had been cropped short, and his lip was split. He was clearly underfed. His clothes hung baggily against his body, and his feet were bare. He walked with a slight limp. Around his throat was a heavy collar, and there were marks on his wrists that suggested he had been bound before, and fought to escape.

Charles's heart ached for the poor boy.

The scientist smiled and continued, in English this time. "Dear Erik here had been sold by unloving parents to a freak show, where they kept him in a cage with a monster more animal than human. I was able to take him off his owner's hands, so that he could assist me with some research... now, he looks like any other youth his age. But I can tell you he is the most exquisite mutant I have had the delight of working with. Over the past six months, he has shown himself to have skills far beyond what I could have expected, or even hoped for..."

The scientist trailed off for a moment, and Charles frowned. The man's timeline didn't make sense - the injuries he could see on Erik were fresh, not six months old. He looked closer.

The boy glared with hatred out at the room, and everybody within it. His eyes weren't dull, the way Charles had expected - he was full of life. One hand clenched into a fist at his side, as the scientist rested a hand against his shoulder.

"Erik here has the ability to manipulate metals, and a magnet's fields. Now, I've put this collar on because the true force of his power is a little... tricky. I would not wish for any of you good sirs to be injured by Erik's excitement to show off what he can do. But what power he has left allows for some remarkable demonstrations." He said something to Erik in Prussian once more, and then lifted a thin sheet of wood. He placed it down, and sprinkled some iron ore upon it. Erik walked over, placing his hand on the board, and Charles watched in wonder as the metal manoeuvred across the board, shaping itself into the image of the magnet's field. 

After a moment the scientist nodded - a sharp action, and Charles could feel the boy's relief to have done it right. The demonstration continued, Erik reshaping some dented metal, and then creating an amalgam of mercury and silver, before pulling the two metals apart once more.

By then, he was panting, his skin damp with exertion. Charles found himself looking at him, rather than listening to the scientist's words. There was a rough handsomeness about him that Charles found fascinating. Focusing on Erik, he saw the way he was twisting some metal in his hand, guiding it out into a spike. Charles frowned - he could sense the anger coming off the other boy.

Charles realised, a moment before Erik struck, what he intended to do. By then it was too late to stop him - he turned, and tried to jab the metal spike into the scientist's throat.

Despite his age, the scientist reacted quickly. Almost as though he had expected this to happen. He grabbed Erik's arm, squeezing so hard Charles heard something crack, and grabbed the spike from him.

Everyone was looking now.

The scientist slammed Erik's hand down on the table, and drove the metal spike through it. Erik howled in agony, and a couple of the men chuckled. 

"You had better not have made a hole in the table," Lord Frost reprimanded, to louder laughter. 

Charles couldn't stand it. He reached out telepathically, into the boy's mind - and it was a beautiful mind, full of strength and fury and determination, the world lit up by small pieces of metal. _Erik?_

_What are you?_

_I'm like you._ Charles answered. _I can help you. Get you out of here._

 _No you can't._ Erik answered, and he sounded tired. _You want to help me?_

Charles thought of the boy, of the pain he was in, and how he felt he'd contributed - he'd been so eager to come, to learn. _More than anything._

 _Then don't let them find you. They'd do this to you and worse. Anything you try... it won't work. Don't give them you as well._

Charles watched as the scientist bandaged Erik's hand, adjusted the collar at his throat, then patted his hair fondly. He leaned in and whispered to Erik, and Charles felt a sudden wave of fear before the scientist turned to them.

"I am afraid Erik got a little excited, so I will have to halt the demonstration here tonight. He never does perform so well in front of an audience, but he is already showing promising results. I hope that soon I will be able to understand him and others like him further."

"Thank you, Mister Shaw," Mister Essex praised. "A truly enlightening demonstration, even if your research subject got a little out of hand. Still, we wish you all the best for your future discoveries. Please do feel free to approach us if you have any new information to reveal..."

What followed was a seemingly endless round of congratulations, from men who didn't seem to register they had just seen Erik injured in front of them - or else, didn't care.

Charles watched, feeling sick. He wanted to argue, to yell that it wasn't fair, but he could feel Kurt's eyes upon him. Worse, he knew that if he was discovered, he would end up in Erik's place.

The scientist kept a protective arm around Erik as he answered the audience's questions. Through it all, Charles kept gazing at Erik, amazed by how strong he was. There were tear tracks on his face, but he had stopped crying, and instead gazed out coldly.

_Erik, please, what can I do to help?_

_Don't let them catch you._ Erik replied, and Charles could feel some of what Erik had endured bleeding through their mental link. He pulled away, just as Kurt was speaking. 

"I know my step-son has been most interested in 'the gifted' for a while. Charles, perhaps you and Mister Shaw could remain in contact. I am sure he would be able to advise you on your studies."

"Thank you," Charles replied, feeling nauseous, because his best chance of survival was letting them think he was like them.

Eventually, they left. His last image of the room was Erik standing there, staring hollowly ahead, as the scientist examined his hand with surprising tenderness, almost paternal. If he hadn't been able to feel how much Erik hated the man, it could have even looked comfortable.

"How was it, my boy?" Kurt asked. "You seemed rather quiet. I thought that you'd have questions."

Charles shook his head, not trusting himself to speak, but then made himself smile. He didn't want to anger his stepfather. "It... It was a lot to think about, sir."

"You will attend our next meeting?"

"Yes, sir." Charles answered, wondering if he'd see Erik again, sure that there had to be something he could do.

By the time they were home, his thoughts had shifted - from Erik, who he knew he could not help, to Raven. He pictured her in Erik's place, or exhibited as a freak, and he shuddered. But he knew how to keep her safe. He bid his stepfather goodnight, and went to Raven's room. She was sleeping in her natural form.

"Raven?" He shook her awake, and she blinked up at him blearily. 

"Whuh?"

"You need to be in your human form. You can't be blue anymore."

"What?" She frowned, struggling to sit up, and he shook his head. 

"You can't be blue anymore. If you make a mistake... you could get really hurt. You can't be blue anymore, alright? Promise me."

She frowned, and he glared at her, willing to go into her mind if he had to. Instead, she backed down with a disappointed nod. "I'll be careful."

"That's all I ask." Charles promised, heading to his room. His dreams that night were full of thoughts of Erik - his determination, his pain, and the horror that was his life. Charles woke up with the sheets tangled around him, and his heart racing.

He laid back down, telling himself he couldn't have done anything differently. That felt false to him, but it was the only comfort he had. From the next room, he could feel Raven's hurt, but he had no way of soothing it. Her life was too important.

Charles attended the society every time it met while he was home - first from school, and then from Oxford. Mister Shaw, and Erik, never visited again.

**Author's Note:**

> Please do comment! I'm currently planning out the main fic in this universe, which is Charles and Erik meeting as adults, so any comments, questions or suggestions would be a huge help.


End file.
